wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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