Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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