I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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