and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
