i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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