When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I know her cup size but not her name....
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