we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
he was CRYING into my vagina
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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