I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
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