I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
