it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
