I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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