I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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