I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
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It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
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He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize