My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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