Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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