I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize