YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
