seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you cant smoke seaweed
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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