i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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