The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
