I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
