We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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