I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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