After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
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