i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize