quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
