I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
