I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
