i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
