Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
