Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
