Pappa wants mamma naked
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
