You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
