Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
