My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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