so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
