She is in my trunk
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
