He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Randomize