You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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