It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
