im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
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