the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
