So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
