oh god the rape fog is back!
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
