you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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