In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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