Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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