you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
