I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Enjoy the penises
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
