I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
