Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
