New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
