I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Randomize
