U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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